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作词 : Batson Mathers Elizondo Jr.
作曲 : Batson Mathers Elizondo Jr.
I was born with a d1xk in my brain, yeah, fvxked in the head
My stepfather said that I sucked in the bed
'Til one night he snuck in and said
"We're going out back, I want my d1xk sucked in the shed"
Can't we just play with Teddy Ruxpin instead?
"After I fvxk you in the bvtt, get some head
Bust a nut, get some rest"
The next day my mother said
"I don't know what the fvxk's up with this kid!
The bastard won't even eat nothin' he's fed
He just hung himself in the bedroom, he's dead!"
"Debbie, don't let that fvxker get you upset
Go in there, stick a fvxkin' cigarette to his neck
I'll bet you he's fakin' it, I'll bet you, I bet
He probably just wants to see how upset you would get
I'll go handle this, of course, unless you object?"
"Aw, go fvxk his brains out if any's left in his head!"
If you could count the skeletons in my closet
Under my bed and up under my faucet
Then you would know I've completely lost it
Is he nuts? No, he's insane!
If you could count the skeletons in my closet
Under my bed and up under my faucet
Then you would know I've completely lost it
Is he nuts? No, he's insane! ("Did you get him?")
Nah, fvxker tried to bite my face off
I just got fvxkin' chased off with a chainsaw
Then he took the chainsaw, bit the fvxkin' blades off
Ate the blades, stuck a baseball in a slingshot
Then he aimed at his own face, let the thing pop
Took his eye out, picked it up and played ping pong
Then he played ping pong with his own ding-dong
That motherfvxker's got nuts like King Kong
Then he set the lawnmower out on the dang lawn
And he laid all up underneath it with the thing on
Then he took his pants, he took every fvxkin' thing off
Everything except his tank top and his training bra
Ain't he raw? Yeah, maniac, that's Shady, dawg
Man, that motherfvxker's gangsta, ain't he dawg?
Shady, dawg, what be goin' through that fvxkin' brain of yours?
Say no more, what the fvxk you waitin' for? Sing along!
If you could count the skeletons in my closet
Under my bed and up under my faucet
Then you would know I've completely lost it
Is he nuts? No, he's insane!
If you could count the skeletons in my closet
Under my bed and up under my faucet
Then you would know I've completely lost it
Is he nuts? No, he's insane!
Don't you know what felch means? ("Yeah") Well then, tell me
Would you rather get felched or do the felching?
Fvxk 'em in the axs, suck the cxm out while you're belchin' (Urrp!)
Burp, belch, and go back for a second helpin'
Can you dig what I'm sayin', man? Can you smell me?
I want you to feel me like my stepfather felt me (Oh...)
Fvxk a little puppy, kick the puppy while he's yelpin'
"Shady, what the fvxk you sayin'?" — I don't know, help me!
What the fvxk's happenin'? I think I'm fvxkin' meltin'!
"Marshall, I just love you, boy, I care about your well-being"
No, Dad, I said no! — I don't need no help peein'
I'm a big boy, I can do it by myself, see?
I only get naked when the babysitter tells me
She showed me a movie like Nightmare on Elm Street
But it was X and they called it "Pubic Hair on Chelsea"
"Well, this is called 'Axs Rxpe' and we're shootin' the jail scene!"
If you could count the skeletons in my closet
Under my bed and up under my faucet
Then you would know I've completely lost it
Is he nuts? No, he's insane
If you could count the skeletons in my closet
Under my bed and up under my faucet
Then you would know I've completely lost it
Is he nuts? No, he's insane
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