No Big Bang -Priests
I once had a conversation with someone
He talked to me of those twilight hours
Those times when your mind is on fire
You can't sleep
Because the creative and analytical possibilities
Before you are endless
He said those are the times he wants to write
I understood him but I was also flabbergasted
I couldn't comprehend his unabashed enthusiasm
It was as if he didn't know the other side of that
The other side I find
To be so intrinsically attached
To those moments
When your mind becomes a rocket
No words
No words
No big bang
No big bang
No big bang
No big bang
No big bang
No big bang
No
Big
Bang
I get the exhilaration
But when you look down and see
The sheer stupidity of the roller coaster
Just staring you in the face as blank
And inescapable as the slab of concrete below
Just waiting to catch you
To crush you
Your falling body
Your skull
All of the sudden
All of the science and evolution and progress
I mean sure
It looks good from a distance
But when you're really inside of it
You realize it's f**king terrifying
The inexorable pull of progress
When your mind keeps running
Along the same narrow tract of logic
For what feels like forever
And the developments are horrible
And gruesome and haunting
And your mind was dark in there
And you can't unseen them
How could one not be scared of that
No crash
No crash
No big bang
No big bang
No big bang
No big bang
No big bang
No big bang
No
Big
Bang
Oh I know those times
Those times when your mind is a rocket
Propelling you through space so fast
But it can flip all at once
Suddenly I realize the rocket is just a prison
A small contained space with no real food
No companionship
No time passing
No gravity
Just the weight of my own insignificance
My foolishness and my hubris
Thrust into the glaring light
That is the sun
But much much closer than it was before
And all I want is to die
Not so much die as be undone
To go back and undo it all
Make all of me
As if it never happened
In the first place
No birth
No birth
No big bang
No big bang
No big bang
No big bang
No big bang
No big bang
No
Big
Bang