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[Vox] That f*cker's back!
[Valentino] I thought he was gone for good too.
[Vox] It's been seven years!
[Valentino] You still pissed he almost beat you last time?
[Vox] Uh, f*ck you!
[Valentino] Just saying.
[Vox] Things have changed a lot since he left town.
[Valentino] That's for sure.
[Vox] I gotta send a message of who's really in charge of things now.
Welcome home, I'm gonna make you wish
That you'd stayed gone.
Say hello to a new status quo.
Everyone knows that there's a brand new dawn.
Turn the TV on!
[director] Camera, speeds. Rolling in 3,2
Welcome to the show
Top of the hour and we're discussing a certain has-been
who has been spotted cavorting around town after a seven year absence
Did anybody miss him? Did anybody notice? More on tonight's program.
So the Radio Demon is back in town.
Why is he hanging around? What does it mean for your family?
Well handily, I've got good news.
He's a loser, a fossil, and I don't mean to sound hostile
But the demon is a coward!
You can take that as gospel.
Pulling my viewers? Impossible!
I'm visual, he's barely audible.
Stop giving him the time of day,
Don't listen to a word he'd say
I hope he had a nice vacay
but he should've stayed away!
While he hid in radio, we pivoted to video
And now his medium is getting bloody rare
Hell's been better since he split
Where's he been? Who gives a sh*t!
[Alastor] Salutations, good to be back on the air!
[Alastor] Yes I know it's been a while since someone with style
[Alastor] Treated hell to a broadcast sinners rejoice
[Vox] What a dated voice!
[Alastor] Instead of a clout chasing video podcast
[Vox] Come on!
[Alastor] Is Vox insecure pursuing allure?
[Alastor] Flitting between this fad and that, is nothing working?
[Vox] Ignore his chirping!
[Alastor] Every day he's got a new format
[Vox] You're looking at the future!
He's the sh*t that comes before that!
[Alastor] Is Vox as strong as he purports, or is it based on his support?
[Alastor] He'd be powerless without the other Vee's
[Vox] Oh please!
[Alastor] And here's the sugar on the cream, he asked me to join his team!
[Vox] Hold on!
[Alastor] I said no and now he's pissy, that's the tea
[Vox] You old timey prick! I'll show you suffering
[Alastor] Uh oh, the TV is buffering~
[Vox] I'll destroy yoo-o-u-u you little——
[Alastor] I'm afraid you've lost your signal.
Let's begin, I'm gonna make you wish that I'd stayed gone
Tune on in
When I'm done
Your status quo will know its race is run
Oh this will be fun
F*ck!
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