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Happy to Be Here - Julien Baker
Written by：Julien Baker
If I could do what I want I would become an electrician
I'd climb inside my ears and I would rearrange the wires in my brain
'A different me would be inhabiting this body
I'd have two cars a garage a job
And I would go to church on Sunday
A diagram of faulty circuitry explains how I was made
Now the engineer is listening as I voice all my complaints
From an orchestra of shaking metal keeping me awake
I was just wondering if there's any way that you made a mistake
I miss you the way that I miss nicotine
If it makes me feel better how bad could it be
I heard there's a fix for everything
Then why
Then why
Then why
Then why not me
The first of April saw the sickening repair
Wore my best shirt to the clinic
Decorated with a laminate name
No one is laughing from an audience of folding plastic chairs
And I'm not fooled when you tell me that you're glad I came
Am I honest to admit or just a hypocrite
I know I should be being optimistic
But I'm doubtful I can change
Grit my teeth and try hard to act deserving
When I know that there is nowhere I can hide from your humiliating grace
If you swear that its true then I have to believe what
I hear evangelicals say on TV
And if there's enough left after everyone else
Then why
Then why
Then why
Then why not me
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