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In the year 2000 my age was 53
Born in the first half of the last century
I always was post-modern but that's ancient history
Now I'm the last man on Earth
That's what the matter is with me
I guess I'm old fashioned, retro to a degree
You could say I'm a throw-back, anachronistically
Air conditioning is here to stay
And that makes me unhappy
'Cause I'm the last man on Earth
That's what the matter is with me
I don't have a portfolio, I gotta plead guilty
The best things are the worthless now
That's just because they're free
And if your not a millionaire yet
Boy, you better be
Now, I'm the last man on Earth
That's what the matter is with me
I should be optimistic
And go buy some bonds and stocks
They'll find a cure for cancer soon
We may get trigger-locks
Existence is no picnic as statistics all have shown
We learn to live together and then we die alone
Everybody's got a website but that's all Greek to me
I don't own a computer, I hate that letter "E"
I don't pack a cell phone or drive an SUV
Yes, I'm the last man on Earth
That's what the matter is with me
I'm the last man standing
Save the last dance for me
I've taken the last train to Clarksville
I'm the fifth monkey
Nice guys always finish last
No one's nicer than me
Yeah, I'm the last man on Earth
That's what the matter is with me
Kid's used to say their prayers at night
Before they went to bed
St. John told us that God is love
Nietzsche said he was dead
This thing we call existence
Who knows what it all means?
Time and Life and People
Are just glossy magazines
I sat and watched those guys
Debate each other on TV
Politicians, wrestlers
They're all the same to me
Hey, I don't give a damn
Which idiot runs this country
Since I'm the last man on Earth
It don't matter to me
In the year 2000, my age was 53
I know that I'm grumpy, middle-aged crazy
But if you are a woman
You might have to sleep with me
Since I'm the last man on Earth
And I can guarantee
I'm the last man on Earth
And there ain't nothing wrong with me
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