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作词 : Fred Ebb
作曲 : John Kander
For her first number
Miss Roxie Hart sings a song of love and devotion
Dedicated to her dear husband, Amos
Sometimes I'm right, sometimes I'm wrong
But he doesn't care, he'll string along
He loves me so
That funny honey of mine
Sometimes I'm down, sometimes I'm up
But he follows 'round like some droopy-eyed pup
He loves me so
That funny honey of mine
He ain't no chic, that's no great physique
Lord knows, he ain't got the smarts
But look at that soul, I tell you that whole
Is a whole lot greater than the sum of his parts
And if you knew him like me
I know you'd agree
What if the world slandered my name?
Why, he'd be right there taking the blame
He loves me so and it all suits me fine
That funny, sunny, honey, hubby of mine!
-Man got a right to protect his home and his loved ones, right?
-Of course he has.
-Well, I come in from the garage, officer,
and I see him coming through the windows -Uh huh
-With my wife Roxanne there sleeping like an angel
He loves me so (an angel)
That funny honey of mine
-Name of deceased, Fred Casely.
-Fred Casely? How could he be a burglar?
My wife knows him, he sold us our furnitures.
Lord knows he ain't got the smarts
-She lied to me! She told me he was a burglar!
-You mean he was dead when he got home?
-She had him covered in the sheets,
and she's tellin' me this cock and a bull story about this burglar,
and how I ought to say I did it because I was sure to get off!
Now he's shot of his trap
I can't stand that sap
Look at him go' (And I believed her! That cheap little tramp.)
rattin' on me
With just one more brain (So, she was cheating on me, huh?)
what a half-wit he'd be (Well, then, she can just swing for all I care.)
If they string me up (Boy, I'm down at the garage,)
I'll know who rought the twine (working my butt off fourteen hours a day)
(and she's up there munchin' on God-damn bon-bons)
(This time she pushed me too far. That little chiseler.)
(Boy, what a sap I was!)
That scummy, crummy, dummy, hubby of mine
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