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Thank you one and all for your attendance
And we guarantee that your time here will not be spent in vain.
In fact, we think it will prove to be the most valuable time
You've ever spent.
The flim flam brothers!
This should be interesting.
Yep.
Welcome one and all to the demonstration of a lifetime.
A demonstration of a better life.
A demonstration of a better time.
And if we havent't captured your interest just yet
By the time we finish an unfortunate phenomenom
Practically guarantees that we will.
A phenomenon?
What's that?
It's a circumstance perceptible by the senses
But in this case it's the simple fact that...
There's ailments all around us in everything we touch and see.
The sickness that lies waiting there
In every breath you breathe.
Disease will up and grab you as it crawls from land and sea
It's amazing how infected that the natural world and all its things can be.
Now I understand that some of you don't think you're sick
But twisted hooves and aching joints
Don't heal all that quick.
Consider just how dangerous this world is, you might-
Slip and fall, break or sprain something here tonight
But luckily for you we've got the thing you need.
And it's easier when all you need's the cure
The flim flam miracle curative tonic
Is just what the doctor ordered, I'm sure.
Now I know our claims seem fantastical...
Impractical
Improbable
Impossible...
And magical!
So we welcome every suffering pony to make their way up to the stage.
And we'll prove our tonic's effectiveness
Before your very eyes!
You there! Come up here, good sir.
I'll wager you're tired of those crutches, my friend.
Try taking a sip of this!
That's why you're so luckly!
We've got the thing for you
Just come on up, we've always got some more!
Of the flim flam miracle curative tonic
I won't need these crutches to dance out the door!
Now, how do you like that?
I don't.
There's something funny about this whole thing.
Now some of you may suffer from feelings of despair
You're old, you're tired, your legs won't work
There's greying in your hair
Just listen; I'll tell you that you don't need to fear
Your ears will work your muscles tone
Your eyes will see so clear!
Luckily for us you've got the thing we need!
The answer to our problems in a jar
The flim flam miracle curative tonic
It's the greatest ever miracle by far!
It cures the reins, the spurs and clydesdale fur blight(Tonic! Tonic! Tonic!)
Hooferia and horsyntary, cured in just a night!(Tonic! Tonic! Tonic! Tonic!)
You've got swollen hooves and hindquarters or terrible bridle bit cleft.
Saunter sits and gallop plop or give your tail some heft.
Mane loss, hay fever, or terrible tonsillitis.
You heard it here folks, this is the only place in all of equestria you'll find it.
It can make you short or tall or even grow old.
But who'd want that?
When with one drink,
You can be young again...
Sold!
Congratulations, granny smith.
You've just made the purchase of a lifetime!
Are you as worried as I am?
Yep.
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