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Ladies and gentlemens
Caught by dodgers little rabbit twisters
Step right around closely
Tell you all about
A wonderful medicine show I used to work with
Here this afternoon
Also, we have Dr. Donacre here with us
The great medical menagerist of the world
We have a wonderful soap here this afternoon
We had one here before
A gentlemen bought a bar of it and took a bath in it
Found two suits of underwear he didn't even know he had
Yes sir
Brings the dirt some lather
Ladies, here's a wonderful tonic to give to your husbands
Makes him tell everything that he ever has done
Not only that, but everything he intends to do
We also have a wonderful hat tonic here on the market this afternoon
Guaranteed to grow a hair on a doorknob in 30 minutes
Here's a letter from a gentleman up in Ohio
It reads "dear sir, after drinkin' two bottles of your hat tonic
My hair is coming out very nicely. The time I drink two more
I think it'll all be out"
Well I quit that job
I got a job in a grocery store, yes sir
Feller comes in says, what's your butter today
I said my butter today is butter
He said
I'm proud of that
What I got here yesterday was axle grease
Another feller comes in says
What's your prunes today
I said my prunes today is raisins
With inflammatory rheumatism
Well this young lady comes in says
Let me see your socks
I said, you'll have to excuse me miss
It's too hot, I don't wear any
Well the boss he got mad and fired me
Went across the street and got me a job at the butcher shop yes sir
Feller come in says
What's your liver today
I said my liver today is ever so much
Said I know but how much
All ten cents a yard
How much do you have
Worst part of all was an old maid came in
She says
Mrs. Brown says you have pig's feet
I said
You go tell Mrs. Brown she just told a Popeye lie
I got's human feet just like anybody else
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