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作词 : David Cumming/Felix Hagan/Natasha Hodgson/Zoe Roberts
作曲 : David Cumming/Felix Hagan/Natasha Hodgson/Zoe Roberts
[MONTAGU]
So...
Hitler’s on the train and he’s heading for the border
We take out a porter that no-one will miss
Now our boy’s undercover he poisons the water
[REGGIE]
God, that’s brilliant! But listen to this…
[sung]
I’ve designed a new kind of missile
So tiny it’s shot from a pen
It’s full of airborne sedative
Time to effect is relative
But one whiff’s enough to floor ten grown men
We’ll shoot him on route, our pursuit will be fruitful
And the Führer is out cold
[COMPANY]
But what the hell happens then?
[REGGIE]
So
Hitler’s on the train and he’s feeling kind of tired
He’s drugged in a fug like a mental abyss
[JOHN, as HITLER]
"Mein pants have been stolen!"
[REGGIE]
We’ll trade them for Poland!
[COMPANY]
God, that’s brilliant
[JOHN]
But listen to this…
[REGGIE]
But I haven’t got to the exploding socks yet!
[MONTAGU]
You’ve had a verse…
[JOHN]
I know a lady assassin
She’s lithe but impossibly strong
She’s killed half of Moscow
[FLEMING]
She owns her own crossbow
[REGGIE]
A master of disguise who can speak any tongue
[JOHN and COMPANY]
She’s stationed in Haiti, patiently waiting
But one call from me and she’ll be ours for a song
So...
[COMPANY]
Hitler’s on the train and he’s coming back from Burma
[JOHN]
Our girl hurls herself from a nearby tree
[MONTAGU]
She crashes through the window
[FLEMING]
Disguised as a flamingo
[REGGIE, COMPANY]
In the whirl that unfurls, she kills a guard or three
She raises up her knife
[FLEMING]
It’s dripping blood from the slaughter!
[JOHN]
Hitler shits himself as she blows him a kiss
[COMPANY]
His guards try to pour in, she barricades the door and
God, that’s brilliant
[FLEMING]
But listen to this
[JOHN]
If this is a man in a fancy suit…!
[FLEMING]
All that we need is a swanky tuxedo
[REGGIE]
Fleming, stop going on about your bloody novels
[FLEMING]
Several publishers are interested!
[MONTAGU]
Your mother doesn’t count
[JOHN]
Come on boys, remember what Churchill said…
[COMPANY]
If you want to beat them Jerries
You gotta call upon the visionaries
[REGGIE]
‘Cos if you’re in trouble
[CHOLMONDELY]
Don’t scream and shout
[COMPANY]
Just call the English public school boys
[MONTAGU]
We’ll sort it all out!
[COMPANY]
It’s time for ambition, time to show you’ve got vision
We’re the best brains in Britain, now listen to this!
[FLEMING & COMPANY]
All we need is a shiny tuxedo (here we go!)
And my design for a submarine car (for God’s sake)
About seven pretty ladies
Aston Martins or Mercedes
A base in a volcano and a laser cigar
Some crocodile moccasins, a watch with a garrotte in it
A vodka martini waiting at the bar and
There’s our man who’s a really famous hero
He wears cool suits and he has a big gun
He has great adventures and ladies want to kiss him
[JOHN]
(I do like it when the ladies want to kiss me!)
[FLEMING]
God he’s brilliant and his name is James
I’ve even got a catch phrase for him!
The name’s James…. James
[COMPANY all complain over each other]
[JOHN]
Hitler’s on the train
[MONTAGU]
Or a boat
[CHOLMONDELY]
Or other vehicle
[JOHN]
We send in an assassin
[FLEMING]
Or a robot
[CHOLMONDELY]
That’s illegal!
[REGGIE]
They shoot him
[MONTAGU]
Stab him
[REGGIE]
Grab him
[FLEMING]
And he’s wearing a tuxedo!
He kills the guard, snogs the girl and says something cool
[COMPANY]
No!
[JOHN]
We tie him up
[REGGIE]
We poison him
[CHOLMONDELY]
I think this plan has veered off...
[JOHN]
We bring him back to Blighty
[REGGIE]
Steal his trousers
[FLEMING]
Blow his head off
[COMPANY & CHARLES]
Our victory’s assured (What?)
We go and win the war (No!)
God that’s brilliant! (Um...)
God I'm brilliant! (Well...)
God we’re brilliant! (No!)
Now listen to this!
词源：GENIUS
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