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Alcoholic Fantasia
Written By: Victor_Hahn
Look, you know/你们也知道
I have been not doing it for a long time/我已经太久没创作了
And now I'm just trying to bring it back/现在我也只是想找找感觉
Or whatever, I don't know /还是怎么样，我自己也不知道了
**** it, Let's just do it/不管了，开干
This is just some basic shit /这都是些最基本的东西
Not even a show-off of pieces of my abilities/甚至都算不上对我一点点能力的炫耀
Not even one of the serious works to me/根本都算不上是我正经的作品
But I'm still trying to make some difference in it/但我还是想做出点花样
**** difference/可拉倒吧
So this is how I do it/那么就这样开始
I'm just tired of shutting myself up/我不想再沉默不语
And trying to pick something up/只想重新得到属于我的一切
Trying to make a sound of myself/只想发出自己的声音
Telling every-****ing-single-one/大声告诉所有人
"Just listen the **** up"/都给我听好了
That's something I used to have/这是我曾经拥有的天赋
Something I used to do well/我曾经游刃有余的天赋
Something can ease all the hurt/它能抚慰一切
I did it all to myself/我给我自己带来的伤痛
Now I'm sick of being sick/我已经受够了忍耐
Turning back, I'm still the one who survive all of it/回过头，我却也苟活着坚持了过来
Those who're worth a longer life died kinda early/但那些值得活下去的人却早已离开
While I'm still standing here spitting these nonsense bullshit/而我还在这里说着这些没有意义的废话
Surviving, Striving, This is survival of the fittest/苟活着，挣扎着，这大概就是所谓的“适者生存”
Oops did I just spit someone else's lyrics/我是不是不小心用了别人的歌词
What the ****/什么毛病
Doesn't matter, He won't care anyway/罢了，我想他不会在意
He's already the best/反正他已经是最厉害的了
I find it hard to make a rhyme/押韵对我来说实在太困难
Like it's hard to make myself right/跟把我自己收拾利索一样困难
Fade to black, dark to light/是非难辨，黑白不分
Thanks to all the shit ty thoughts inside/真是多亏了我脑子里这些乱七八糟的想法
I stay up late every ****ing night/每天晚上都入睡困难
Waging another war I don't have to fight/跟自己做着那些毫无必要的斗争
So I take out the dictionary/于是我拿出词典
My addiction to the pen is just great/我对创作的瘾让我好受一些
Since there's no other way/既然已经没有其他退路
For me to escape/让我逃离这一切
I find a way to get rid of all of it/我还是找到了让我解脱的办法
I become a ****ing alcoholic/我变成一个酒鬼
Every ****ing night, I got myself wasted/每天晚上喝个烂醉
I got everything around me ****ed up a little bit/把身边的琐碎都搞砸一遍
And I got myself another drink/然后再给自己倒上一杯
I drink all of it/喝到一滴不剩
When my head get burnt by the alcohol shit /当我的脑袋被宿醉占据
I find myself living nothing but regret/我才意识到自己一直活在后悔之中
I keep making mistakes and mistakes take me to another mistake/我不断犯错，犯下的错又埋下另一个错
Mistakes got me so afraid, afraid of facing those faces/这些错让我恐惧，不敢面对身边的人
And I drive myself crazy and push the faces all away/我把自己逼疯，把身边的人都伤透逼走
And got myself nothing but being hated/最后落得一身恶名
But why the faces have to leave/为什么他们必须离开
And I am the one who have to stay/而我却必须留下
I just don't want my ****ing memories/我恨透了我的记忆
Cuz they hurt me every-****ing-day/它们无时无刻不在捅我刀子
Now my feet feel freezing/我的双脚感到寒冷
Luckily, soon they will feel nothing/好在马上就会冻僵，就什么都感觉不到了
And with them, I'm still standing, seeking my meaning of time/冻僵的双脚支撑我的身体
Of my meaningless life/让我寻求我在我毫无意义的一生里度过的时间的意义
But all I see is that I been living in the lies/而我却只能看到自己活在谎言里
And I got history that I could never wipe/而我也没法逃避我的过去
And I been living the only shadow in the dark/我有如黑暗里形单影只的那片影子
Nobody has a sight/没有人能看见
There're just too many struggling in my mind/我的头脑已经扭曲
They freeze my feet, crawl up, and sting my spine/它禁锢我的双脚，顺势而上，刺痛我的脊骨
They're just inside of me but I can't find/它就在我的脑袋里，我却感受不到
What I can't find push me across the line/这些感受不到的东西，终于让我失去理智
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