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Who wants one of my special home-baked brownies? 谁要吃我的特制布朗尼？
I'll have one. 我要一块
No,no. It's just my tooth. 不是，是我牙痛
Thanks. I have a good one too. I just can't see him. 谢了，我也认识一个 只是我不能见他
See,that is the problem with invisible dentists. 这就是隐形牙医的问题
Why can't you go to him? 你为什么不能去找他？
Because every time I go to the dentist,somebody dies. 因为我每次去看牙医 就会有人死
That's so weird. Every time I go to the dentist... 真诡异，我每次去看牙医
... I look down the hygienist's blouse. 都会偷看医生的胸口
What? …什么？
First it was my Aunt Mary. 第一次是玛丽阿姨
And then there was John,my mailman. 然后是我的邮差约翰
And then my cowboy friend,Albino Bob. 然后是我的牛仔朋友 艾拜诺巴伯
And all these people actually died? 这些人真的都死了？
Yes. While I was in the chair. 对，当我坐在诊疗椅上时
That's why I take care of my teeth. It's not about oral hygiene. 所以我都自己保健牙齿 不是为了口腔卫生
I floss to save lives. 我用牙线是为了救人
Come on,you didn't kill anybody. 拜托，你没有杀人
These people just happened to die when you went to the dentist. 只是这些人死的时候 你刚好去看牙医
It's just a coincidence. 这只是巧合
Tell that to them. Oh,you can't! They're dead! 你去告诉他们 啊，不行，他们死了
The One With the Giant Poking Device 本集播出：“死不死有关系”
“中央公园”
Thanks,Gunther. 阿甘，谢了
Can I get a napkin too? 可以给一张纸巾吗？
Oh,like you don't already have everything. 你还不够称心如意吗？
You're in pain. Would you just go to the dentist? Just go. 你痛得很厉害，去看牙医吧
Fine. But if you're my next victim... 好，但如果你是下一名受害者
...don't come back as a poltergeist who sucks me into the TV set. 别化身成厉鬼跑回来 把我吸进电视里
I promise. 保证不会
Although,don't feel like you can't visit. 但还是欢迎你来找我
Hey,is Chandler here? 钱德在吗？
No. No,he's not. 不在
You guys,Joey just saw Janice kissing her ex-husband. 乔伊看到珍妮丝亲她的前夫
What? 什么？
What are you gonna do? How are you gonna tell Chandler? 你要怎么办？ 要怎么告诉钱德？
I was thinking about that. I think the best way would be... 我一直在想这件事 最好的办法就是…
...to not. 不要说
Joey,if you know about this, you have to tell him. 乔伊，既然你知道了 就得告诉他
It'll kill him. It'll just kill him. 那他就完了，真的完了
Wait till I go to the dentist. Maybe I'll kill him. 等我去看牙医吧 或许我会让他完了
I think Naked Guy's using a hammock. It's like a Play-Doh fat factory. 丑裸男在睡吊床 好像猪肉工厂喔
I'm going to the dentist. So listen... 我要去看牙医了，听我说
...just be on the lookout for anything that you could fall into... 小心会让你们掉进去的东西
...or.... 或是…
All right,just look out! 总之要小心
And I also just want to.... 我还想要…
I just want to tell you all that.... 我只想告诉你们…
I have a problem. I have to go into work for a few hours. 我有一个麻烦 我得去忙上几个小时
Some kids messed up the Homo sapien display. 有一些小孩大闹智人展览 （与同性恋同字）
What did they do? 怎么个闹法？
Then they rearranged the figures. Let's just leave it at that. 然后又把人偶重新排列 这个就不说了
Do you want me to watch Ben for you? 要我帮你照顾班吗？
That's what I was gonna ask. Thank you. 我正要拜托你，谢谢
Wait,hello! What about me? 等一下，让我来如何？
You. You want to watch Ben? 你！你想照顾班？
That would be great! I just asked Monica... 太好了 我拜托摩妮卡是因为…
... because I know how empty her life is. 她的生活很空虚
I got a science question. 我有个科学问题
If the Homo sapiens were,in fact, "homo" sapiens... 如果智人真的是“同志”人
...is that why they're extinct? 所以才会绝种吗？
Joey,Homo sapiens are people. 乔伊，智人就是人
Hey,I'm not judging. 我没有批评的意思
Look,Benny! Spoon! 小班，你看，汤匙
Spoon! 汤匙
Come on. All right,you know what? I think he's bored. 我看他觉得很无聊
Here. You wanna play the airplane game? 来，要不要玩坐飞机？
You're so brave. You're so brave! Yes,you are. 你最勇敢了，最最勇敢了
-You're so brave. -You're okay. 没事了
He's fine. Let's just put him down. 他没事，把他放下
Come here,babe. Yes,you're such a good boy. 宝贝，过来，你好乖
How could you do that to him?! Ross trusted me! What's he gonna say? 你怎么可以撞到他？ 罗斯很信任我，他会怎么说？
Nothing,because we're not telling him. 不会的，我们不会告诉他
-We're not? -No. 不会吗？ 不会
All right,I like that. 这样好
So we're okay. We're okay,aren't we? 你没事，你没事对吧？
No,we're not okay. There's a bump. 不，你有事，这里肿起来了
What bump? 什么肿起来？
Oh,my God! Well,push it in! Push it in! 天哪，把它压下去！
I cannot push it in! 我不能把它压下去
Okay,we're gonna need a distraction. 好，我们得分散注意力 好
That's it. 就是这样 好
I got it! 我知道了 好
The second Ross walks in... 罗斯一走进来
...take him to your bedroom and do whatever you do... 你就拉他进房间 使出浑身解数
...that makes him go "rheeeee!" 让他快活
Or... 或者…
...we could put a hat on his head. 我们也可以帮他戴帽子
A hat! Yes! We need a hat! Where are we gonna find a tiny little hat? 帽子！没错，我们需要帽子 要去哪里找小帽子？
I'll get Rainy Day Bear! 我去拿雨天小熊
Because he'll know what to do? 因为他有办法？
Oh,my God. You're a genius! 天哪，你真是天才
It's kind of sewn on. 好像缝死了
Give it. Give it. 拿来… 好
It's just like a bloodbath in here today! 今天这里真是血腥啊
Hey,hold on a second. Hold on a second. 等一下…
Do you think these pearls are nice? 你觉得这串珍珠漂亮吗？
I'd prefer a mountain bike. 我比较喜欢登山车
Janice's birthday's coming. I wanna get her something special. 珍妮丝的生日快到了 我想送她特别的礼物
-Come in here with me. -Wait! 陪我进去 慢着
You wanna get her something special? Get her flowers. 你想来点特别的？送花嘛
Get her candy. Get her gum. Girls love gum. 送糖，送口香糖 女生都喜欢口香糖
That's a good idea. "Dear Janice: Have a Hubba-Bubba birthday." 好主意，“亲爱的珍妮丝 祝你生日快乐得冒泡”
I'd like to get her something serious. 我想送一份严肃的礼物
You want something serious. 你要严肃的东西
You know what you should do? You should get her one of those... 知道吗？你应该送…
... barium enemas. 灌肠剂
Those are dead serious. 那个严肃得要命
Look,I'm gonna go in here. And you don't buy me anything,ever! 我要进去 你以后不要送东西给我
You can't! You can't. You can't buy her pearls. 不行！你不能送她珍珠项链
You just can't,you can't, you can't! 不行，不行，不行…
Why not? 为什么不行？
Oh,God. 天哪
Here's the thing. 是这样的
This is the thing. Okay,the thing is 是这样的…
What is the thing? 是怎样？ 好
I went down to the Mattress King's showroom... 我那天去床垫大王的卖场
...and I saw Janice kissing her ex-husband. 看到珍妮丝在亲她的前夫
What? 什么？
They were in his office. 他们在他的办公室里
She wouldn't do that. She's with me. 她不会亲他的，她跟我在一起
I'm telling you,I saw it. 是真的，我亲眼看到
Well,you're wrong. You're wrong. 你看错了，你错了
I'm not wrong. 我没有看错
I wish I was. 我巴不得我看错了
I'm sorry. 对不起
Bet that barium enema doesn't sound so bad now. 现在觉得送灌肠剂不错吧？
It makes more sense as an ensemble. And it takes the focus off the hat. 穿整套比较不奇怪 也免得帽子太显眼
Oh! You're alive! You're alive! 你们还活着！
I promised you no one would die,didn't l? 我不是保证过没有人会死？
We'll see about that. Can I use your phone to call everyone I know? 待会就知道了 借我打电话给我认识的人
Sure. We have no money. Go ahead. 你用吧，我们没钱，请便
Hey,you're not dead! Okay,see you. 喂，你没死！ 好，再见
Monica. 摩妮卡
Oh,my God! He just said my name! 天哪，他叫我的名字
Did you hear that? 你听到了吗？
Monica bang! 摩妮卡，砰
Okay,I heard that. 我听到了
Did he just say,"Monica bang"? 他是不是说“摩妮卡，砰”？
Oh,my God! He's gonna rat me out! 天哪，他要告我的密
Monica bang! 摩妮卡，砰
Sweetie,you need to stop saying that now. 小乖乖，你不能再说了
It's no big deal. It's not even worth mentioning. 没什么大不了的 根本不值得一提
You see? We all do it all the time. 懂吗？我们经常撞来撞去
See? Watch this. 懂吗？看我的
Monica bang! Everybody bang! 摩妮卡，砰，大家，砰
Ben bang! 班，砰
Rachel bang! 瑞秋，砰
Bang,Rachel! Bang! 砰，瑞秋，砰
We all do it! 大家都在砰
-Okay,I'm stopping now. -Are you okay? 我不撞了 你还好吗？
You know,if it's not a headboard,it's just not worth it. 如果不是床头板，根本不值得
How's my Bing-a-ling? 我的小宾宾好吗？
I don't know. 我不知道
You tell me. 你说呢？
Anything you want to tell me? 你有话要对我说吗？
Because if you.... You should 因为要是你…你应该…
You would tell me. 你会告诉我
Why are your eyes so wide? 你为什么瞪着眼睛？
You tell me. 你说呢？
Maybe it's because I was just fooling around with my ex. 也许是因为 我和旧情人搞在一起
Oh,no. That was you! 不不不，不不不，那是你！
Oh,my God! 我的天
-All right! -How did you know? 很好 你怎么知道？
In the park? 在公园里？
No. In his office. How many kisses were there? 不是，在他的办公室 你们亲了几次？
Just those two! 就那两次
Why? 为什么？…
Why was there kissing? There should be no kissing! 为什么接吻？你们不该接吻的
I'm so,so sorry. I just.... 我非常…抱歉，我只是…
What happened was l.... I can't breathe. 其实是…我喘不过气来
Can you get me a bag or something? 可以给我一个袋子吗？
Here. Here. 拿去
It's the receipt. 是收据
I'll take it. 给我
Look,I've got to know. 听着，我一定要知道
Are you finished with me? 你跟我结束了吗？
Are you finished with him? 你跟他结束了吗？
Do you still love him? 你还爱他？
Do you still love me? 你还爱我？
All right,look... 好，听我说
...I'm gonna need an actual answer here,okay? 我需要明确的答案，好吗？
So which is it? 你选哪一个？
Him or me? 他还是我？
I don't know. 我不知道
Okay,if you're alive, you answer your phone! 要是你还活着，请接电话
Okay,Ben,I won't tell your daddy that you had ice cream before dinner... 班，我不会告诉爸爸 你在晚餐前吃冰
...if you won't tell him about our little bonking incident. 你也不能说出那个小小的意外
Number one,I don't think Ben understands the concept of bribery. 第一，班应该不懂什么是贿赂
And number two,I 第二，我…
What? 怎么了？
You said "number two." 你说“第二”
I also said "number one." 我也说了第一
I know. 我知道
Hey,everyone! 大家好
How's my little boy? 我的乖儿子好不好？
He's perfect. Aren't you,Ben? 他好得很 对不对，班？
-He's never been better. -What did you do,take him whaling? 他好得不得了 你们带他去捕鲸吗？
Monica. 摩妮卡
Oh,my God! He just said your name! That's great! Good job,Ben! 天哪，他说了你的名字 太棒了，干得好
Monica bang! 摩妮卡，砰
That's right. 没错
That's what I'd sound like if I exploded. 那就是我爆炸的声音
The curse is broken! I called everybody I know... 诅咒解除了 我联络了所有认识的人
...and everyone is alive! 大家都活着
Ugly Naked Guy looks awfully still. 丑裸男一动也不动
My God,I killed another one! 天哪，我又杀了一个人
The curse is getting stronger too, to bring down something that big. 诅咒变强了 那么胖的人也害得死
Maybe he's just taking a nap. 也许他只是在睡觉
I'm telling you, he hasn't moved since this morning. 错不了的 他从早上开始就没动过
We should call somebody. 我们应该求援
Tell them the naked guy we stare at isn't moving? 说我们在偷窥的裸男不动了？
We've got to find out if he's alive. 我们得弄清楚他的死活
How are we gonna do that? There's no way. 怎么弄清楚？根本没办法
Well,there is one way. 有一个办法
His window's open. I say... 他的窗子开着，我建议…
...we poke him. 我们戳他
You know how we save all those chopsticks... 我们每次叫中国菜都会留筷子
What? 怎么用？
We're fashioning a very long poking device. 我们要做一个很长的探测器
All right. 好
Hey,what's the matter? 你怎么了？
I talked to Janice. 我跟珍妮丝谈过了
Oh,my God. Is she going back to him? 天哪，她要回到他身边吗？
She doesn't know. 她不知道
Says she loves us both. 她说她两个都爱
I woke up this morning,I was in love. 早上醒来时，我在恋爱
I was happy! 我很快乐
It serves me right for buying that 12-pack of condoms. 那十二个保险套买得绝不冤枉
I don't know. 不知道
You know? What would you do? 你会怎么办？
It doesn't matter what I'd do. 我的做法不重要
Come on. Come on. Tell me. 别这样…说嘛
All right... 好吧…
...you probably won't want to hear this... 这种话你八成不爱听，但是…
... but if it was me, and this is just me... 如果是我…这纯属个人意见
... I'd bow out. 我会退出
What? 什么？
What are you talking about? 你在说什么？
They have a kid together... 他们有一个孩子
...you know? 你懂吗？
They're,like,a family. 他们是一家人
And if,I don't know... 要是…我不晓得
...if there's a chance they can make that work... 要是他们有机会破镜重圆
... I wouldn't want to be the guy who stood in the way. 我不会想当那个障碍
You okay? 你还好吧？
You wanna come poke a nude guy? 要不要来戳裸男？
Well,he's finally asleep. 他终于睡着了
About that bump on his head.... 他头上那个肿包…
Are you sure it's a new bump? 你确定那是新的？
No offense,but I've always thought of Ben as a fairly bumpy-headed child. 我没有恶意 但我一直觉得他满头是包
It's okay if he bumps his head. Kids bump their heads all the time. 撞到头也没关系 小孩子经常撞到头
It was your first time babysitting. You did your best. 你第一次照顾他 已经尽力了
I did! 我有尽力
I know. 我知道
I did! I watched! I watched! 我有，我盯得很紧
I watched Monica bang his head against that thing! 我眼睁睁看着摩妮卡 撞到他的头
Monica did it? 是摩妮卡撞的？
Did you notice anything weird about Ben today? 摩妮卡，你有没有发现 班今天怪怪的？
No,why? 没有，怎么了？
...which he's good at. But he left out "E" and "F." 他一向很会唱 今天却漏了E和F
It's like they just,I don't know, fell out of his head. 仿佛那两个字母掉出来了
Really? 真的？
Oh,and also,he's walking... 还有，他走起路来
... kind of funny. 不太对劲
It's like his left leg is moving a lot faster than his right leg. 似乎左脚动得比右脚快
Yeah,he's in there,just.... 他一直在里面…
Oh,my God! I wrecked your baby! 天哪，我害了你的儿子
I hope it's still funny when you're in hell. 希望你下了地狱 还会觉得好玩
You jerk! 混蛋
-You know how much I love that kid! -Monica bang! Monica bang! 你明知我有多爱他！ 摩妮卡，砰，摩妮卡，砰
I'll get the hat. 我去拿帽子
I have something to tell you. 我有一件事要告诉你
And I want you to let me get through it... 请你让我说完
... because... 因为…
...it's not gonna be easy. 要说出口并不容易
I think you should go back with Gary. 我觉得你应该回到盖瑞身边
I don't want to be the guy that breaks up a family. 我不想当拆散家庭的人
You know,when my parents split up, it was because of that guy. 我的父母分手 都是那个男人害的
Whenever I'd see him, I'd always think... 每次见到他，我都会想
... "You're the reason. You are why they're not together." “是你害他们不能在一起的”
And I hated that guy. 我恨那个人
And it didn't matter how nice he was or how happy he made my dad. 不管他人有多好 还给我爸带来幸福
It's the right thing to do. 这么做是不对的
You're right. 你说得对
Oh,God. But before I can say goodbye... 天哪，在我说再见之前
...there's something I really need you to know. 有件事我一定要你知道
The way I feel about you... 我对你的感觉…
...it's like I finally understand... 让我终于了解
...what Lionel Ritchie's been singing about. 莱诺李奇曲中的含意
You know? I mean,what we have... 我们的一切
...it's like movie love. 就像演电影一样
You're my soul mate. 你是我的精神伴侣
I can't believe we're not gonna spend the rest of our lives together. 我们居然无法厮守到老
Then don't leave me. 那就不要离开我
What? 什么？
Forget what I said! I was babbling! Pick me! 忘了我说的话 我是随便说说，选我吧
No,you were right! I gotta give my marriage another chance. 不，你说得对 我应该再给婚姻一次机会
No,you don't! 谁说的？
I say you have to give your divorce another chance! 不，你应该再给离婚一次机会
I'm sorry. 对不起
Don't go. 不要走
No,I gotta go. 不，我该走了
Honey. Honey. 亲爱的…
-People are looking. -I don't care. 大家都在看 我不在乎
I don't care! 我不在乎
Yeah,okay. 好了
I'm leaving now. 我要走了
You can't leave! I have your shoe! 你走不了，我拿了你的鞋子
Goodbye,Chandler Bing. 再见，钱德宾
Rachel has those in burgundy. 瑞秋有一双紫红色的
Remember,something this big and long will be very difficult to maneuver. 记住，这么大 又长的东西很难操作
Fortunately,I have experience in that area. 幸好我有这方面的经验
Can we please focus here? A naked man's life hangs in the balance. 专心一点好吗？ 一个裸男的性命岌岌可危
I'm telling you,he's dead. 他一定已经死了
What we're about to have here is a dead fat guy on a stick! 我们会戳到一个死胖子
All right,ladies and gentlemen, let's poke. 各位先生、女士，戳吧
Steady. 稳着点
Steady. 慢慢来
Okay,a little higher. 再高一点
Careful of the angle. 注意角度
Okay,okay. We're approaching the window. 好…靠近窗户了
Thread the needle. Thread the needle. 把探针伸进去
He's alive! He's alive! 他还活着…
And yet we're still poking him. 而我们还在戳他
Okay,retract the device! Retract the device! 收回探测器、收回探测器
He does not look happy. 他好像不太爽
Now he's showing us his poking device. 轮他亮出“探针”了
Hey,that's never gonna make it all the way over here,buddy! 兄弟，你绝对伸不过来的
I'll hold you close in my arms 我会紧紧拥你在怀里
I can't resist your charms 我无法抵挡你的魅力
Love 爱人
I'll be a fool for you 我愿为你做尽傻事
I'm sure 无庸置疑
You know I don't mind 你知道我并不介意
Oh,you know I don't mind 我并不介意
Yes 是的
You mean the world to me 你就是我的全世界
Oh,I know I know 我知道
I've found I've found 在你身上
In you 我已找到
My endless love 无尽的爱
My endless love 无尽的爱
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