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Somewhere on a show I heard
That a picture tells a thousand words
So telly, if you bothered to take a look
Is the equivalent, of like, lots of books!
All I know I learned from telly
This big beautiful box of facts
If you know a thing already
Baby you can switch the channel over just like that
Endless joy and endless laughter
Folks living happily ever after
All you need to make you wise
Is 23 minutes plus advertisements
Why would we waste our energy?
Turning the pages 1, 2, 3,
When we can sit comfortably
On our lovely bumferlies,
Watching people singing and talking and doing stuff?!
All I know I learned from telly.
The bigger the telly, the smarter the man!
You can tell from my big telly,
Just what a clever fella I am!
Take it away, son.
(guitar noise)
You can't learn that from a stupid book.
All I know I learned from telly -
What to think and what to buy.
I was pretty smart already,
But now I'm really, really smart - very very smart.
Endless content, endless channels
Endless chat on endless panels
All you need to fill your muffin
Without having to really think or nothing!
Why would we waste our energy
Trying to work out Ulysses
When we can sit happily
On our lovely bapperlies
Watching slightly famous people
Talking to really famous people?
All I know I learned from telly
The bigger the telly, the smarter the man!
You can tell from my big telly
Just what a clever fella I am!
Who the dickens is Charles Dickens?
Mary Shelly? Gosh, she sounds smelly
Harry Potter? What a rotter
Jane Austen in the compost bin
James Joyce doesn't sound nice
Ian McEwen? Ugh, I feel like spewin'
William Shakespeare? Swilliam Shmakespeare...
Moby Dick – easy Grandma!
All together now!
All I know I learned from telly.
The bigger the telly, the smarter the man!
You can tell from my big telly,
What a very clever fella I am!
Thank you very much!
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