MARVIN: Well, the situation's this
I do not wish to a offend
I divorced my wife
I left my child
And I ran off with a friend
But I want a tight-knit family
I want a group that harmonizes
I want my wife and kid and friend
To pretend time will mend
Our pain
So it's 1979
And we don't go by the book
We all eat as one-
Wife, friend, and son-
And I sing out as they cook
I love my tight-knit family
I love the way they cook linguine
Isn't great? We're all so swell
Such a dear clientele.
I swear we're gonna come through it.
I fear we'll probably fight,
But nothing's impossible
Live by your wit-
Kid, wife, and lover will have to admit
I was right
I cushioned the fall
I want it all
I want it all
I want it...
I want it all-
MENDEL: Sit down, my dear
I hear you have a problem
I'm sure you're not disgusting or indiscreet
Take a load off your feet.
TRINA: Thank you.
MENDEL: Happy or sad?
TRINA:Well...
MENDEL: That's a question with no answer.
Let's no discuss the wheather; let's face the facts.
Mavin's wife must relax
TRINA: Love isn't sex
That's a thing my husband once told me
Marvin, my ex-
You've seen him for years-
Told me over the phone to tell you my fears
Do you only treat queers?
MENDEL: Uh, no. Breathe deep, my dear
You'll find me understanding
Your pain is a priori
Unfold you untold story
Now to break bread
Loosen your glands
Put your head in my hands
TRINA: I'm everything he wanted
It's time I put it all together
The date was set
My father let me marry
I married. I...
Then Marvin came from work
Sat me down on the bed
He told me how he loved me, how he needed and or valued me
I have... ( MENDEL: What? )
MARVIN AND TRINA/TRINA:Syphilis./He said. ( MENDEL: Good. )
TRINA: I have... ( MENDEL: Yes? )
MARVIN AND TRINA/TRINA: Syphilis./It's true. ( MENDEL: Good. )
TRINA: I had something rotten which appears though now it's well forgotten
MARVIN: Maybe, darling, so do you
TRINA: Maybe, darling, so do you
TRINA: I am probably diseased... ( MENDEL: You're a lovely girl. )
TRINA: And so easily appeased. ( MENDEL: What a lovely girl. Though she's probably diseased. )
TRINA: He took pains to not excite us
He explains I've...
MARVIN AND TRINA/TRINA: Hepatitis/Too
MARVIN, JASON, AND WHIZZER: Hepa hepa hepatitis hepatitis hepatitis
MENDEL: Love is blind
Love can tell a million stories
Love's unkind
Spiteful in a million ways
TRINA: Then I stayed home from work
Took good care of my men
They faked despair; they wet their bed; they combed their hair; they acted dead
One said... ( MENDEL: Yes? )
JASON: Daddy is a *****. ( MENDEL: What? )
TRINA: He said...( MENDEL: Yes?)
JASON: Daddy isn't mine! ( MENDEL: Good. )
TRINA: He filled my coats with candies and notes, with 'Will you be my valentine'?
MARVIN: (To Whizzer) Will you be my valentine?
TRINA: This gets harder to believe... ( MENDEL: You're a damaged girl.)
TRINA: I've a scalpel up my sleeve. ( OTHERS: What a damaged girl. )
MENDEL: Do not ever slit your wrists
TRINA: I've missed him, he's still missing
Don't make noise, but daddy's kissing-
BOYS!
ALL: Petty, petty, petty, petty
MENDEL AND TRINA: Love is blind
Love can tell a million stories
Love's unkind
Spiteful in a million ways
ALL: Love is blind
Love can tell a million stories
Love's unkind
Spiteful in a million ways
MARVIN/ OTHERS:Love is crazy/ Love-
Love is often boring
Love stinks/ Love-
Love is pretty often debris
When you find/ Love-
What you find
Then never, never, never, never, never/ Love-
Do it over again
Love reads like a bad biography/ Love-
All the names are changed to protect the innocent/ Love-
ALL: Love is blind
MENDEL: My name is Mendel
I treat her husband
I think she's very insecure
But so am I
I've never married
Work, work is my passion
Or perhaps that's an alibi
MARVIN: Yeah, perhaps it is.
MENDEL: I don't care to discuss it.
I think she's charming
I think she's needy
In just five sessions on my couch
She'll be like new
OTHERS: His name is Mendel- ( WHIZZER: Ah-ah- )
MENDEL: Return next Friday
I admit I admire you