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作词 : Lanardo Smith
作曲 : Lanardo Smith
1. Mama doesn’t even know
2. When her son is coming home
3. Mum I dont ****ing know
4. Cos I’m working 24s
5. All this mother****ing stress fam
6. Everywhere I go
7. I dont even ****ing know
8. if I can do this anymore
9. But then I look up in your eyes
10. And I forget all the lies
11. I grew older I got wise
12. We can’t be this anymore
13. I’ma buy you a house
14. I’ma change our ****ing lives
15. And it’s gonna be like
16. As if we were never poor
1. 15 years old we was chilling in the park
2. Only time I felt myself was when I’m high after dark
3. Never had money for shoes, never stepped inna clarks
4. But then god gave me a chance, so that I could advance
5. By the time I was 16 I was sipping on lean
6. Popping pills and Molly I was moving like a fiend
7. I tried almost every drug cos my life lacked love
8. I was moving for my uncle just so I could smoke some weed
9. But then I hit 17 here’s when everything changed
10. Fam I had a bad trip after that shit was strange
11. It was so traumatic fam I was so scared
12. For the rest of my life, now my visions impaired
13. HPPD, nah its not easy
14. I was looking in the mirror and I didn’t see me
15. Depersonalisation fam I couldn’t believe
16. That anything was real I swear to god I couldn’t breathe
1. After that I sobered up, I had to focus on my music
2. Man I lost all my friends but my life I didn’t lose it
3. Yeah I travelled up to London so that I could really do it
4. All my friends stopped caring man that is what the truth is
5. Now there’s gold in my teeth, I cant even use a toothpick
6. Shout out JME, cos he helped a brudda move in
7. To the big city, I was homeless, I was screwing
8. But he believed in me he really thought that I could do this
9. Flash forward couples years, probably drank 500 beers
10. Now I’m on a new level making 100k a year
11. I’m finally an adult, 21 this year
12. Tryna focus on myself cant watch anyones career
13. These intrusive thoughts they make it hard to see clear
14. But I know that I will make it ignoring the fear
15. I’m grateful for what I have right now, right here
16. But when you have these goals it’s kinda hard to get near
1. Now I’m dealing with my past, I don’t wanna wear a mask
2. Come far from being high and sleeping all up in my class
3. Yeah I’m coming from abuse and neglect its not a laugh
4. Why do you think I ****ing tatted up my face so hard
5. Why do you think that I love the ****ing pain and the scars
6. I been judging on myself, I been being too harsh
7. I’m still trying to be perfect but really fam I can’t
8. I been conditioned so that I self sabotage
9. I know we been through shit I still bought my mum a car
10. Telling mummy that I love her and that loves gonna last
11. Now I need to get my own one so that I can cruise past
12. If you touch my ****ing family I’ma put you on blast
13. Need to organise myself, need to organise my wealth
14. Drinking way too ****ing much, its been ****ing with my health
15. But I guess thats the life of a ****ing rockstar
16. I got shows every weekend need to go and spit some bars
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