作词 : Mel Brooks
作曲 : Mel Brooks
STUDENT #1: It's been said that your grandfather brought dead tissue back to life
Is that true, Dr. Frankenstein?
STUDENT #2: It's been said that your grandfather created a horrifying monster
Is that true, Dr. Frankenstein?
STUDENT #3: It's been said. . . nay, even sung
(sung) That your grandfather's monster, hurt and lamed,
Killed and maimed
Is that true, Dr. Frankenstein?
STUDENTS: Is that true, Dr. Frankenstein?
Is that true, Dr. Frankenstein?
Is that true
Is that true
Is that true
Is that true, Dr. Frankenstein?
FREDERICK (spoken): That's Fronkensteen!
My name, it's pronounced Fronkensteen!
Yes, yes, the whole world knows what my grandfather did.
But please, do I look like the kind of madman who'd prowl around graveyards, digging up freshly buried corpses?
STUDENT #1: Well, Professor
FREDERICK: Don't answer that!
(sung) I'm not a Frankenstein
I don't indulge in hijinks or tomfoolery!
I'm not a Frankenstein
I don't believe in mummies ghosts, or Ghoulery!
I deal in fact not fiction
I am a scientist
I live for truth and reason
That's the reason I exist
(spoken) There is a vast difference between my crazy grandfather's delusional experiments and my own devotion to pure science.
Which leads us directly to the subject of today's lecture
(sung) The brain!
There is nothing like the brain
Hearts and lungs are simply tinker toys
When stacked against the brain!
Insane!
I'm insane about the brain!
No invention in the universe is equal to the brain!
The mouth's a marvel when it comes to eating
I've nothing against the womb
I thank the bladder when I'm excreting
And I always give the elbow room!
But the brain!
Please allow me to explain
There's no organ can compare to it
I swear to it, it's plain
It's the brain
(spoken) Mr. Hilltop here, with whom I have never worked nor given any prior instruction to, has graciously offered his services for this afternoon's demonstration
(sung) His medulla oblongata tells his brain stem that it's gotta
Send an impulse full of data which creates a lotta pain
His frontal lobe gets busy with a thought that makes him dizzy
Puts his cortex in a tizzy so he never will complain
That's what I love about the brain!
(spoken) Mr. Hilltop, will you raise your left knee, please.
You have just witnessed a voluntary nerve impulse. Mr. Hilltop, you may lower your knee.
Reflex movements, on the other hand, are those which are made independently of the will. Why you dirty rotten yellow son-of-a-b*tch!
MR. HILLTOP: Ooooh!
FREDERICK: Even though I almost kneed him
His reflexes have no freedom
To react when I mistreat him
It's important I explain
Synaptic nerve connection
Goes its way without detection
Bringing cranial protection
In a never-ending chain!
That's what I love about the brain!
(spoken) But what if we were to block those nerve impulses by simply applying local pressure . . . . . .
which can be done with any ordinary metal clamp, just at the swelling of the posterior nerve root . . . for say, oh, four seconds . . . . . .
Why you mother-grabbing bastard!
As you can see, even though I have just smashed my knee into his crotch, he does not react.
He feels absolutely nothing
MR. HILLTOP: Mmmm
FREDERICK: More or less. So if it were not for this continuous stream of motor impulses from the brain, we would collapse . .
Like a bunch . . . of . . . broccoli!
MR. HILLTOP: Oooooh!
FREDERICK (sung): And in conclusion
So there's no confusion
Let me say it once again
Though your genitalia has been known to fail ya
You can bet your ass on the brain!
(spoken) Everybody!
STUDENTS (sung): The brain!
There is nothing like the brain!
It's the king of our anatomy
And ever shall it reign!
FREDERICK: You can call me Copernicus, Kepler, or Newton
Compare me to Freud, I'd feel high-falutin!
Call me a Darwin, I love that man's theory
Call me Pasteur, and watch me get teary!
Say Madame Curie that would be the best
Call me a Rorschach, I'm up to the test!
I really light up When you call me Edison
Call me an Erlich, I like that man's medicine
Call me Marconi, that wireless wow
Call me Pavlov, and I'll bark like a chow
Call me an Einstein and that would be fine
If you called me a Tesla, I wouldn't decline
But to call me a Frankenstein would be insane
Cause I love (STUDENTS: His name is Fronkensteen)
The (The facts are plain, there is nothing like the-)
The brain! (Brain!)