Uncle Arthur

Strikes the bell for 5 o'clock Uncle Arthur closes shop

Screws the tops on all the bottles

Turns the lights out locks it up

Climbs across his bike and he's away

Cycles past the gasworks

Past the river down the high street

Back to mother it's another empty day

Uncle Arthur likes his mommy

Uncle Arthur still reads comics

Uncle Arthur follows Batman

Round and round the rumours fly

How he ran away from Mum

On his 32nd birthday

Told her that he'd found a chum Mother cried

And raved and yelled and fussed

Arthur left her no illusion brought the girl round

Save confusion

Sally was the real thing not just lust

Uncle Arthur vanished quickly

Uncle Arthur and his new bride

Uncle Arthur follows Sally

Round and round goes Arthur's head

Hasn't eaten well for days

Little Sally may be lovely

But cooking leaves her in a maze

Uncle Arthur packed his bags and fled

Back to mother all's forgiven

Serving in the family shop

He gets his pocket money he's well fed

Uncle Arthur past the gasworks

Uncle Arthur past the river

Uncle Arthur down the high street

Uncle Arthur follows mother