Selfish

The end is far away

Not getting too much sleep these days

These things I can't explain

Just wishing for an early grave

But they don't understand me

I wanna be selfish

Only reason I'm still alive

Can't stand to see my mother cry

I'll suffer through

Only reason I won't die

Can't stand the tears in her eyes

I'll be home soon

The saddest thing is

It's the only thing that I want

I wonder sometimes why

I don't just give up and take my life

And they have no idea

That I'm so close to my dying day

I hate this feeling

There's no healing

There's no coming back from this hell

I want to be free from this