Online

I work down at the Pizza Pit

And I drive an old Hyundai

I still live with my mom and dad

I'm 5 foot 3 and overweight

I'm a sci-fi fanatic a mild asthmatic

And I've never been to second base

But there's a whole nother me

That you need to see go check out MySpace

'Cause online I'm out in Hollywood

I'm 6 foot 5 and I look damn good

I drive a Maserati I'm a black-belt in karate

And I love a good glass of wine

It turns girls on that I'm mysterious

I tell them I don't want nothing serious

'Cause even on a slow day I can have a three way

Chat with two women at one time

I'm so much cooler online

So much cooler online

When I get home I kiss my mom

And she fixes me a snack

And I head down to my basement bedroom

And fire up my Mac

In real life the only time

I've ever even been to L A

Is when I got the chance with the marching band

To play tuba in the Rose Parade

But online I live in Malibu

I posed for Calvin Klein I've been in GQ

I'm single and I'm rich

And I've got a set of six pack abs that would blow your mind

It turns girls on that I'm mysterious

I tell them I don't want nothing serious

'Cause even on a slow day I can have a three way

Chat with two women at one time

I'm so much cooler online

Yeah I'm cooler online

When you got my kind of stats

It's hard to get a date let alone a real girlfriend

But I grow another foot and I lose a bunch of weight

Every time I login

Online I'm out in Hollywood

I'm 6 foot 5 and I look damn good

Even on a slow day I can have a three way

Chat with two women at one time

I'm so much cooler online

Yeah I'm cooler online

Yeah I'm so much cooler online

Yeah I'm cooler online

Hey I'm cooler online

Yeah I'll see ya online

Hey I'm cooler online