Impractical Joke

Keep it tight against your chest

This is my time

I'd like to see the table turned

Trade your placemat with mine

See if you can still make a ball

Or maybe eat the apple whole

And the furthest I could reach

Was as close as I had come

I'm in over my knees

And still the only one

Who has to get a grip on himself

I could use some outside help

It's already stale

It's just getting older and my side

Was sinking so quick

That the best I could do was jump ship

Waiting with bad bated breath

For the wind to change

It's just a well worn-out suggestion

To occupy the day

I wished that I knew when I threw it away

That I could deal with feeling this strange

But it sounds so similar

To something that I've done before

So I give myself a slap on the wrist

And you jam my hand in the door

It raises a smile from you

But it's only worth a by-line mention

A simple footnote from an impractical joke

Couldn't seem to hold your attention