Gaston

Who does she think she is

That girl has tangled with the wrong man

No one says "no" to Gaston

Heh heh Darn right

Dismissed Rejected Publicly humiliated

Why it's more than I can bear

More beer

What for Nothing helps I'm disgraced

Who you Never Gaston you've got to pull yourself together

Gosh it disturbs me to see you Gaston

Looking so down in the dumps

Every guy here'd love to be you Gaston

Even when taking your lumps

There's no man in town as admired as you

You're everyone's favorite guy

Everyone's awed and inspired by you

And it's not very hard to see why

No one's slick as Gaston

No one's quick as Gaston

No one's neck's as incredibly thick as Gaston

For there's no man in town half as manly

Perfect a pure paragon

You can ask any Tom Dick or Stanley

And they'll tell you whose team they prefer to be on

No one's been like Gaston

A king pin like Gaston

No one's got a swell cleft in his chin like Gaston

As a specimen yes I'm intimidating

My what a guy that Gaston

Give five hurrahs

Give twelve hip-hips

Gaston is the best

And the rest is all drips

No one fights like Gaston

Douses lights like Gaston

In a wrestling match nobody bites like Gaston

For there's no one as burly and brawny

As you see I've got biceps to spare

Not a bit of him's scraggly or scrawny

That's right

And every last inch of me's covered with hair

No one hits like Gaston

Matches wits like Gaston

In a spitting match nobody spits like Gaston

I'm especially good at expectorating

Ten points for Gaston

When I was a lad I ate four dozen eggs

Every morning to help me get large

And now that I'm grown I eat five dozen eggs

So I'm roughly the size a of barge

No one shoots like Gaston

Makes those beauts like Gaston

Then goes tromping around wearing boots like Gaston

I use antlers in all of my decorating

Say it again

Who's a man among men

And then say it once more

Who's the hero next door

Who's a super success

Don't you know

Can't you guess

Ask his fans and his five hangers-on

There's just one guy in town who's got all of it down

And his name's G-A-S-T-

G-A-S-T-E-

G-A-S-T-O-

Oh

Gaston