Everyday

We'll always be bosom buddies

Friends sisters and pals

We'll always be bosom buddies

If life should reject you

There's me to protect you

If I say that your tongue is vicious

If I call you uncouth

It's simply that who else but a bosom buddy

Will sit down and tell you the truth

Tho' now and again

I'm aware that my candid opinion may sting

Tho' often my frank observation might scald

I've been meanin' to tell you for years

You should keep your hair natural like mine

If I kept my hair natural like yours I'd be bald

But darling

We'll always be dear companions

My crony

My mate

We'll always be harmonizing

Orphan Annie and Sandy

Like Amos and Andy

If I say that your sense of style's

As far as off as your youth

It's simply that who else but a bosom buddy

Will tell you the whole stinkin' truth

Each time that a critic has written

Your voice is the voice of a frog

Straight to your side to defend you I rush

You know that I'm there ev'ry time

That the world makes and unkind

Remark

When they say

Vera Charles is the world's greatest lush

It hurts me

And if I say your fangs are showing

Mame pull in your claws

It's simply that who else but a bosom buddy

Will notice the obvious flaws

I feel it's my duty to tell you

It's time to adjust to your age

You try to be Peg O' My Heart

When you're Lady Macbeth

Exactly how old are you Vera The truth

Well how old do you think

I'd say somewhere in between forty and the death

But sweetie

I'll always be Alice Toklas

If you'll be Gertrude Stein

And tho' I'll admit I've dished you

I've gossiped and gloated

But I'm so devoted

And if I say that s*x and guts made you into a star

It's simply that who else but a bosom buddy

Will tell you how rotten you are

Just turn your bosom buddy

For aid and affection

For help and direction

For loyalty love and for sooth

Remember that who else but a bosom buddy

Will sit down and level

And give you the devil

Will sit down and tell you the truth