Defibrillator

Defibrillator

Written and read by me：Alex Kapranos

I didn't know Big Jamesy that well

He hung about with McPherson my flatmate

I met him on Christmas day when I worked a shift at the 13th Note

He sat at the end of the bar drinking and drinking

Until he threw up over it

Watery spew dripping onto the pint glasses on the shelf below

Christmas day

Thanks Jamesy

McPherson was the star of the Glasgow easy listening revival

Spinning Klaus Wunderlich and Peters and Lee records

And a kipper tie and polyester suit

Smellig of Oxfam

And Brut for men

Let's get a band together It'll be great Big Jamesy can play guitar

He's rrrrrreally good

I'll ask Baldy Keith to come down and play drums

He's got a band as well

So I was back in the basement at the 13th Note with Big Jamesy McPherson and Baldy Keith

We didn't have a name

Any songs

Or any idea of what we were going to do other that it was going to be

Big Jamesy looked like one of those late Ramones

You know those guys that came in to play the drums

Or the bass when Dee Dee had gone off to rap

Leather jacket black bowl cut surly stoop and malnourished frame

And on drums it's BENNY RAMONE

Instantly identifiable but completely anonymous

We set up our gear

Baldy Keith's parents had bought him a huge ostentatious kit

With too many toms

And one of those backwarrds cymbals

McPherson's bass a beautiful Paddy's market semi

That shreked when any amp was turned over two

I was gonna sing

And Big Jamesy brought out his Charvel

And plugged it in a luminous yellow DOD Metal Maniac pedal

Then turned every dial into Peavey tranny amp as far to the right as it would go

Then he started

Ah s**te