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The King of Broadway - Nathan Lane
I used to be the king the king of old Broadway
The best of ev'rything was mine to have each day
I always had the biggest hits
The biggest bathrooms at the Ritz
My showgirls had the biggest tits
I never was the pits in any way
We believe you thousands wouldn't
We believe you ev'ry word
We believe you thousands couldn't
We believe each word we've heard
I used to be the king
The King
The king of old Broadway
It's good to be the king
My praises they would sing
A Ziegfeld so they'd say
My shows were always filled with cl***
The best champagnes would fill my gl***
My lap was filled with gorgeous ***
You couldn't call me cr*** in any way
We believe you thousands wouldn't
We believe you ev'ry word
We believe you thousands couldn't
We believe each word we've heard
There was a time
When I was young and gay
But straight
There was a time
When I was bold
There was a time
When each and ev'ry play I touched
Would turn to gold
There was a time
He wore the finest clothes
His shoes were always new
Ahh
Now I wear a rented tux
That's two weeks overdue
Poor Bialy what a shmoozer
Poor Bialy what a shame
Poor Bialy what a loser
Poor Bialy goodbye fame
Such reviews How dare they insult me in this manner
How quickly they forget I am Max Bialystock
The first producer ever to do summer stock in the winter
Once he was the king
You've heard of Theatre in the Round
You're looking at the man who invented Theatre in the Square
Nobody had a good seat
King of old Broadway
I've spent my entire life in the theater
I was a protege of the great Boris Tomaschevski
Yes He taught me everything I know
I'll never forget he turned to me on his deathbed and said
"Maxella alle menschen muss zu machen jeden tug a gentzen kachen "
What does that mean
Who knows I don't speak Yiddish Strangely enough neither did he
But in my heart I knew what he was saying
He was saying when you're down and out and everybody thinks you're finished
That's the time to stand up on your two feet and shout
"Who do you have to **** to get a break in this town "
Yay
I used to be the king
The king of old Broadway
Again I will be king
And be on top to stay
There'll be gala opening nights again
You'll see my name in lights again
I'll go from dark to brights again
My spirits high as kites again
I'll never suffer slights again
I'll taste those sweet delights again
No plethora of plights again
No blossoming of blights again
No frantic fits or frights again
Fame is in my sights again
I'll take those fancy flights again
I'm gonna scare the heights again
Bialystock will never drop
Bialystock will never stop
Bialystock will be on top again
Fame is in his sights again
He'll take those fancy flights again
He's gonna scale the heights again
I'll be on top again hey
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