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Ya Got Trouble - Robert Preston
Ya got trouble understand
Friend either you're closing your eyes
To a situation you do not wish to acknowledge
Or you are not aware of the caliber of disaster indicated
By the presence of a pool table in your community
Well ya got trouble my friend right here
I say trouble right here in River City
Why sure I'm a billiard player
Certainly mighty proud I say
I'm always mighty proud to say it
I consider that the hours I spend
With a cue in my hand are golden
Help you cultivate horse sense
And a cool head and a keen eye
Jever' take and try to find
An iron-clad leave for yourself
From a three-rail billiard shot
But just as I say
It takes judgment brains and maturity to score
In a balkline game
I say that any boob can take
And shove a ball in a pocket
And I call that sloth
The first big step on the road
To the depths of deg-ra-day
I say first medicinal wine from a teaspoon
Then beer from a bottle
An' the next thing ya know
Your son is playin' for money
In a pinch-back suit
And list'nin to some big out-a-town jasper
Hearin' him tell about horse-race gamblin'
Not a wholesome trottin' race no
But a race where they set down right on the horse
Like to see some stuck-up jockey boy
Settin' on Dan Patch
Make your blood boil
Well I should say
Now friends lemme tell you what I mean
Ya got one two three four
Five six pockets in a table
Pockets that mark the diff'rence
Between a gentlemen and a bum
With a capital "B "
And that rhymes with "P" and that stands for pool
And all week long your River City
Youth'll be fritterin' away
I say your young men'll be fritterin'
Fritterin' away their noontime
Suppertime choretime too
Get the ball in the pocket
Never mind gettin' dandelions pulled
Or the screen door patched or the beefsteak pounded
Never mind pumpin' any water
'Til your parents are caught with the cistern empty
On a Saturday night and that's trouble
Yes you got lots and lots of trouble
I'm thinkin' of the kids in the knickerbockers
Shirt-tail young ones peekin' in the pool
Hall window after school ya got trouble folks
Right here in River City
Trouble with a capital "T"
And that rhymes with "P" and that stands for pool
Now I know all you folks are the right kind of parents
I'm gonna be perfectly frank
Would ya like to know what kinda conversation goes
On while they're loafin' around that Hall
They be tryin' out Bevo tryin' out cubebs
Tryin' out Tailor Mades like cigarette fiends
And braggin' all about
How they're gonna cover up a tell-tale breath with Sen-Sen
One fine night they leave the pool hall
Headin' for the dance at the Arm'ry
Libertine men and Scarlet women
And Rag-time shameless music
That'll grab your son your daughter
With the arms of a jungle animal instinct
Mass-staria
Friends the idle brain is the devil's playground
Trouble oh we got trouble
Right here in River City
With a capital "T"
That rhymes with "P"
And that stands for Pool
That stands for pool
We've surely got trouble
Right here in River City
Right here
Gotta figure out a way
To keep the young ones moral after school
Mothers of River City
Heed the warning before it's too late
Watch for the tell-tale signs of corruption
The moment your son leaves the house
Does he rebuckle his knickerbockers below the knee
Is there a nicotine stain on his index finger
A dime novel hidden in the corn crib
Is he starting to memorize jokes from Capt
Billy's Whiz Bang
Are certain words creeping into his conversation
Words like 'swell' "
And 'so's your old man' "
Well if so my friends
Ya got trouble
Right here in River City
With a capital "T"
And that rhymes with "P"
And that stands for Pool
We've surely got trouble
Right here in River City
Remember the Maine Plymouth Rock and the Golden Rule
Oh we've got trouble
We're in terrible terrible trouble
That game with the fifteen numbered balls is a devil's tool
Oh yes we got trouble trouble trouble
With a "T"
Gotta rhyme it with "P"
And that stands for Pool
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