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Gee Officer Krupke - Stephen Sondheim
Dear kindly sergeant krupke
You gotta understand
It's just our bringing up-ke
That gets us out of hand
Our mothers all are junkies
Our fathers all are drunks
Golly moses natcherly we're punks
Gee officer krupke we're very upset
We never had the love that every child oughta get
We ain't no delinquents
We're misunderstood
Deep down inside us there is good
There is good
There is good there is good
There is untapped good
Like inside the worst of us is good
That's a touching good story
Let me tell it to the world
Just tell it to the judge
Dear kindly Judge your Honor
My parents treat me rough
With all their marijuana
They won't give me a puff
They didn't wanna have me
But somehow I was had
Leaping lizards
That's why I'm so bad
Officer krupke you're really a square
This boy don't need a judge
He needs an analyst's care
It's just his neurosis that oughta be curbed
He's psychologic'ly disturbed
I'm disturbed
We're disturbed we're disturbed
We're the most disturbed
Like we're psychologic'ly disturbed
In the opinion on this court
This child is depraved on account he
Ain't had a normal home
Hey I'm depraved on account
I'm deprived
So take him to a headshrinker
My father is a bastard
My mother an S O B
My grandpa's always plastered
My grandma pushes tea
My sister wears a mustache
My brother wears a dress
Goodness gracious that's why I'm a mess
Yes
Officer krupke you're really a slob
This boy don't need a doctor
Just a good honest job
Society's played him a terrible trick
And sociologic'ly he's sick
I am sick
We are sick we are sick
We are sick sick sick
Like we're sociologically sick
In my opinion
This child don't need to have his head shrunk at all
Juvenile delinquency is purely a social disease
Hey I got a social disease
So take him to a social worker
Dear kindly social worker
Dear kindly social worker
They say go earn a buck
Like be a soda jerker
Which means like be a schumck
It's not I'm anti-social
I'm only anti-work
Gloryosky that's why I'm a jerk
Eek
Officer krupke you've done it again
This boy don't need a job
He needs a year in the pen
It ain't just a question of misunderstood
Deep down inside him he's no good
I'm no good
We're no good we're no good
We're no earthly good
Like the best of us is no damn good
The trouble is he's lazy
The trouble is he drinks
The trouble is he's crazy
The trouble is he stinks
The trouble is he's growing
The trouble is he's grown
Krupke we got troubles of our own
Gee officer krupke
We're down on our knees
'Cause no one wants a fellow with a social disease
Gee officer krupke
What are we to do
Gee officer krupke
Krup you
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