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The mechanic raised up from under my hood
His head and said This ain't good
Your timin' belt's done shrunk one size too small
And those spark plug wires are a little too long
And your main prodsponder's nearly gone
Your injector ports are stripped and that ain't all
Your torque converter's runnin' low on torque
And that water pump's nearly down a quart
We caught it all in time so you're in luck
He said I've got the time and I've got the parts
Just give me the word and I'm ready to start
I think we can bring her in for-uh eight-hundred bucks
But don't be downhearted I can fix it for you sonny
It won't take too long it'll just take money
Then he said Aren't you that songwriter guy
I said Yes I am
He said So am I
He set down and played me a song by the grease rack
When he finished singin' he gave me a smile
And I closed my eyes and pondered a while
He said What do you think
Now don't hold nothin' back
Well I gave him my most sorrowful look
And I said This song's got a broken hook
I can order you a new one from Nashville
But it won't be cheap
And I know you've been using a cut-rate thesaurus
Cause your adverbs have backed up into your chorus
Now your verse is runnin' on verbs
That are way too weak
But don't be downhearted I can fix it for you sonny
It won't take too long it'll just take money
I said Hold on friend
Now I'm not through
I hate to be the one to give you this news
But your whole
Melodic structure's done worked itself loose
It's got so many dotted eighth notes in it
I'd keep her under fifty beats per minute
I mean that's just me talkin' it's really up to you
You've got a bad safety problem
With that dominant chord with the augmented fifth
Just see how dangerously high it raises you up
So just go on over and work on my car
And I'll sit here by the fan and chances are
I can straighten this thing out for eight-uh
Nine-hundred bucks
But be don't down hearted I can fix it for you sonny
It won't take too long
You guessed it
It may be a hit
I like it
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